1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,962 The following content is provided by MIT open 2 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:06,934 courseware under a creative commons license. 3 00:00:06,934 --> 00:00:09,906 Additional information about our license and MIT open 4 00:00:09,906 --> 00:00:12,383 courseware, in general, is available at ocw.mit.edu. 5 00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:25,900 PROFESSOR: When last we met, I think, you have to remind me 6 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:29,190 of this, I put the bits on the handout that I didn't have 7 00:00:29,190 --> 00:00:31,840 from last time, but we talked about --if you look at the 8 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,680 hand out-- we talked about what I'm calling the 9 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,990 psychopathelogical theory of love, and the chemical theory 10 00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:39,990 of attraction. 11 00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:42,810 I seem to recall that we finished up last time talking 12 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,480 about the shaky bridge. 13 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:53,650 So, that allows me to start today talking about social 14 00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:55,020 exchange theory. 15 00:01:00,940 --> 00:01:03,800 I put the other stuff on there because I felt bad about not 16 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,470 having it on there last time. 17 00:01:05,470 --> 00:01:11,830 But we'll start in the top middle of the page two. 18 00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:15,710 And, the question here continues to be, how do we 19 00:01:15,710 --> 00:01:21,560 explain why a particular relationship happens? 20 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,710 The evolutionary theory is good for saying something 21 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:29,910 about broad forces, but now we want to know something about 22 00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:36,310 why specific relationships happen and do not happen. 23 00:01:36,310 --> 00:01:41,590 And, I can think of no better place to begin then with me as 24 00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:42,890 a high school freshman. 25 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,270 The reason that I'm explaining this as me as a high school 26 00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:52,810 freshman, I made up this example a few years ago to 27 00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:55,200 illustrate the point that I wanted to make. 28 00:01:55,200 --> 00:02:00,740 I ran through this elaborate scenario about high school 29 00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:02,200 freshman stuff like that. 30 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,390 And then I gave your predecessors a choice. 31 00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:08,460 Did he do A, or did he do B? 32 00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:09,560 Somebody raised their hand. 33 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,790 He said B. I said no, that's the wrong answer. 34 00:02:13,790 --> 00:02:15,830 And, at that point, I realized I've been giving 35 00:02:15,830 --> 00:02:16,970 autobiography. 36 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,280 So I thought I might as well just go with straight 37 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,520 autobiography. 38 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,160 All right, you've got to imagine this high school 39 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:32,850 freshman, who you can imagine was kind of short, and nerdy, 40 00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:35,740 but good in English. 41 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:39,040 I'm just noticing, as the gentleman in the white shirt 42 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:44,720 over there moves things around, Google has these, how 43 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,500 to use your brain things. 44 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,800 What's the actual title on it? 45 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,187 AUDIENCE: How to care for your big, wonderful, high 46 00:02:51,187 --> 00:02:51,250 performing brain. 47 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:51,440 PROFESSOR: Yes. 48 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:52,560 How to care for your big wonderful 49 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,760 high performing brain. 50 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,540 If you find one of those around campus, over half the 51 00:02:57,540 --> 00:02:59,980 people have them, I realize you all want to go work for 52 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:03,510 Google, but an entertaining act might be to see how many 53 00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:07,660 of the little factoids and stuff you think are directly 54 00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:11,580 contradicted or directly contradict the contents of 55 00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:13,750 this course. 56 00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:18,400 There are a variety of oddities on that. 57 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,620 But, it's not bad, and you should send your resume to 58 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:25,630 Google and become rich and famous, rather than just being 59 00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,700 a nerdy high school freshman, who was good in English. 60 00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:32,060 So I was in Sophomore Honors English. 61 00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:32,990 Great. 62 00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:38,290 In Sophomore Honors English was, at least through the fog 63 00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:48,510 of memory, a very beautiful, very brilliant cheerleader and 64 00:03:48,510 --> 00:03:50,960 woman person. 65 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:55,350 And, if we return to the psychopathology theory of 66 00:03:55,350 --> 00:04:00,670 love, I was pretty infatuated with her. 67 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:12,030 The pick A or B question is A, I let her know that this 68 00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:15,260 infatuated guy was sort of sitting next to her in class 69 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:18,870 whenever possible. 70 00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:23,670 And, we had a perfectly nice high school relationship. 71 00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:27,530 Or, B, she managed to graduate from high school presumably 72 00:04:27,530 --> 00:04:32,870 completely unaware that I had been deeply 73 00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,540 infatuated with her. 74 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:41,020 How many people vote for A. How many people vote for B? 75 00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:43,570 Why isn't John Kerry voting? 76 00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:45,610 You would think of all people, he ought to be voting, 77 00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:46,360 wouldn't you? 78 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:53,860 [APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER] 79 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:58,060 PROFESSOR: He does have excellent hair. 80 00:04:58,060 --> 00:04:59,310 All right. 81 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:04,920 Look John, stop grinning at me, we can't all marry 82 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,370 billionaires. 83 00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:10,200 [APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER] 84 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,060 PROFESSOR: All right, so the intuition of the vast, cruel 85 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:15,870 bulk of you is correct. 86 00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:21,300 I suspect, in her life, I kept sort of turning 87 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,360 up like a bad penny. 88 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,470 I was continuously around. 89 00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:29,260 But, there was no relationship there. 90 00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:29,880 Why not? 91 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,130 What was my problem? 92 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,780 We won't ask for vast details. 93 00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:38,040 All right, we'll ask for some details. 94 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,210 AUDIENCE: Fear? 95 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,720 PROFESSOR: Fear works. 96 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,270 But the last example we had Romeo there. 97 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:49,280 He was presumably scared out of his little 98 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:49,960 wits more or less. 99 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,190 Yeah. 100 00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:52,440 AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE] 101 00:05:54,239 --> 00:05:56,780 look at her from afar. 102 00:05:56,780 --> 00:06:00,310 PROFESSOR: I like that. 103 00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:01,560 That sounds good. 104 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:05,910 Self- confidence. 105 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:08,420 I think I won't pursue this further, because I may learn 106 00:06:08,420 --> 00:06:12,460 way more than I want to know about exactly why I should 107 00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:13,630 have been fearful. 108 00:06:13,630 --> 00:06:18,310 Low self- confidence and otherwise. 109 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:24,880 But, the fact is I didn't do nothing. 110 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,360 The other fact that occurs to me, is that, it would be 111 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:32,250 entirely possible by this point, that her son or 112 00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:36,170 daughter could be a student here. 113 00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:36,960 Yeah. 114 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,030 I heard good deep intake of breath there. 115 00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:40,570 There's a scary thought. 116 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,180 The intuition is clear. 117 00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:59,820 Let's flip the example around, and ask suppose that this 118 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:06,540 gorgeous and brilliant high school sophomore was attracted 119 00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:11,820 to this nerdy, little high school freshman or 120 00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:14,200 something like that. 121 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:22,880 Would she do anything about that, one way or the other? 122 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:23,820 Let's do the A or B vote. 123 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:35,800 How many vote that she would say, let's go out together, 124 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:41,310 and that his hair would curl or something. 125 00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:43,810 How many vote, yes, she would do that. 126 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,860 How many vote no? 127 00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:47,120 OK. 128 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,770 Well little more divided. 129 00:07:48,770 --> 00:07:50,860 There's more chance that maybe she would say something, but 130 00:07:50,860 --> 00:07:53,680 the majority goes with the no, or the, I'm 131 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,500 not voting on this. 132 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:58,720 I voted once today already. 133 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,620 Maybe I voted twice. 134 00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,850 But, anyway. 135 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,630 The why would be ok. 136 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:08,280 But, why not? 137 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,530 What's wrong here? 138 00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:13,780 Economics. 139 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,940 Either we're sitting here reading the hand out, or he's 140 00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:21,720 on to something. 141 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,950 Where's economics, Matt. 142 00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:25,200 AUDIENCE: [INAUDIBLE] 143 00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:29,000 her kinds of values would go down. 144 00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:33,020 PROFESSOR: Oh. 145 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:36,400 We don't have to make this quite so specific, do we? 146 00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:40,870 [LAUGHTER] 147 00:08:40,870 --> 00:08:45,700 PROFESSOR: I should add, this would be deeply pathetic if 148 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:50,980 since high school, I've been a broken and pathetic person who 149 00:08:50,980 --> 00:08:52,880 never formed a meaningful relationship with another 150 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,280 person, and I was still waiting for her. 151 00:08:55,280 --> 00:09:00,090 But, when I did finally get engaged to somebody, my dear 152 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:03,940 sister's first reaction, was sort of like that. 153 00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:06,990 Which was, how did you ever get somebody so attractive to 154 00:09:06,990 --> 00:09:08,120 go with you? 155 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:12,260 And, my mother's first reaction, -- we were going to 156 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:19,300 be engaged for two years because we've been reading up 157 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:21,830 this was a long time ago, before evolutionary psych was 158 00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:24,380 big, but we were ahead of the curve, and we knew that she 159 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:26,520 had to be a couple of years younger than me, because she 160 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,160 needed to be evolutionarily fit. 161 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,630 Anyway, she was two years younger than me. 162 00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:32,110 I was already up here in grad school. 163 00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:34,670 She was still at Princeton as an undergrad, so we would get 164 00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,560 married two years later when she graduated. 165 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,870 My mother's first declaration on this subject was that if 166 00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:42,910 anything happens to the relationship in the 167 00:09:42,910 --> 00:09:48,470 intervening two years, she was keeping Julie, my wife, and 168 00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:49,720 getting rid of me. 169 00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:55,040 So, you may be on to something there. 170 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:55,730 Yes. 171 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,971 AUDIENCE: In high school, women generally didn't ask 172 00:09:58,971 --> 00:09:59,720 guys out -- 173 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:00,890 PROFESSOR: OK 174 00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:02,610 I could have flipped this around and 175 00:10:02,610 --> 00:10:03,730 change the genders here. 176 00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:07,520 But there's a possibility of a social norm that the women 177 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,710 don't ask men. 178 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:15,080 But, I will assert that there would have been a certain 179 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:19,920 amount of discomfort if it'd been a gorgeous, brilliant 180 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:25,830 male cheerleader, Hey, don't knock it, my sister- in- law 181 00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:29,190 married one of those. 182 00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:31,570 University of Michigan, you know, gorgeous male 183 00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:33,560 cheerleaders are right there. 184 00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:36,850 I don't know. 185 00:10:36,850 --> 00:10:38,360 How is the MIT male 186 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,290 cheerleading squad a big thing? 187 00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:41,700 No. 188 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:42,450 OK. 189 00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:49,200 Anyway, I think there would be a certain ambivalence about 190 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:53,420 this relationship even if we switched the genders on it. 191 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:59,470 Any other comments on this? 192 00:10:59,470 --> 00:11:08,420 Well, let me assert that this sort of relationship feels 193 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:16,570 uncomfortable because we have a very deeply seated desire 194 00:11:16,570 --> 00:11:18,970 for relationships to be reciprocal. 195 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:30,140 If you want to account for my failure to ask this young 196 00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:34,840 woman out, in economic terms, you could imagine that what I 197 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,970 did was, I looked in my romance wallet. 198 00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:42,320 And, I said, I don't you enough to afford this 199 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:42,990 relationship. 200 00:11:42,990 --> 00:11:44,730 Not in strictly economic terms. 201 00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:48,720 But I don't have enough status for this. 202 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,610 I'm a freshman. 203 00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:50,560 She's a sophomore. 204 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,720 Made a big difference at that point. 205 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,960 You know, she's this, I'm this. 206 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,650 She's this, I'm this. 207 00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,910 This isn't going to work. 208 00:11:58,910 --> 00:12:02,720 But, it also doesn't work like this. 209 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:11,260 If you've got too much in the bank, in a sense, there's a 210 00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:17,700 discomfort that has to do with unbalanced relationships. 211 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:21,240 And there seems to be a very deeply seated notion that 212 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,870 relationships need to be appropriately reciprocal. 213 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:27,150 Now this isn't just about romance. 214 00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:32,270 If I open the door for you, you'd say, thank you. 215 00:12:32,270 --> 00:12:37,430 Now that's a very simple sort of thing but, it suggests that 216 00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:47,060 you feel a need to reciprocate for whatever act 217 00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:48,530 might come your way. 218 00:12:53,400 --> 00:13:00,440 In the sub culture in which I live, if I invite somebody 219 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,800 over to my house for dinner, their reflective response is 220 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,570 to say, what can I bring? 221 00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:12,610 Not because they have some notion that the larder is bare 222 00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:13,760 at home, and if they don't bring 223 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,990 something, there's no dinner. 224 00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:18,980 But there's is a notion that needs to be reciprocal. 225 00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:22,570 Quite typically, my response would be, oh you don't need to 226 00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:24,360 be to bring anything. 227 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,760 And, quite typically nevertheless, whoever's coming 228 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,850 over would bring something anyway. 229 00:13:30,850 --> 00:13:34,210 Now you get into interesting problems. 230 00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:36,940 The exact nature of what is and is not reciprocately 231 00:13:36,940 --> 00:13:42,630 appropriate, seems to have a strong cultural overlay. 232 00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:48,930 This was brought home to me by a tale my parents told me, 233 00:13:48,930 --> 00:13:53,390 which was, a few years ago, new neighbors moved in. 234 00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:56,810 And, so my parents, being nice people, brought them over a 235 00:13:56,810 --> 00:13:59,090 welcome to the neighborhood gift. 236 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,000 I don't know what it was. 237 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,800 But they brought over a little gift. 238 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:02,580 That's nice. 239 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:06,220 But the people who moved in were Japanese. 240 00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:10,580 The Japanese cultural expectation was, if you get a 241 00:14:10,580 --> 00:14:13,030 gift, you have to give a gift. 242 00:14:13,030 --> 00:14:16,870 So, they gave my parents a gift the next day. 243 00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:20,980 But, my parents' expectation wasn't that they'd get a gift, 244 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:26,530 so if they got a gift, there's now a reciprocal demand here. 245 00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:30,010 So, they gave the neighbors another gift. 246 00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:32,850 At least by the time you get my mother's rendition of this, 247 00:14:32,850 --> 00:14:34,510 it sounded like the end of this was 248 00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,390 sort of medieval warfare. 249 00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:40,090 You know, lobbing gifts over the fence. 250 00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:41,140 Stop it already! 251 00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:45,180 AUDIENCE: [LAUGHTER] 252 00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,370 PROFESSOR: All of these examples point out that 253 00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:53,070 there's a deep- seated notion, that we don't like one- sided 254 00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,000 relationships. 255 00:14:54,000 --> 00:15:02,220 We like relationships that are reciprocal in some fashion. 256 00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:06,440 And the reciprocation needs to match the original act. 257 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:10,140 If I invite you to dinner and you throw yourself on your 258 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:15,910 face, and swear eternal fealty to me, that's reciprocal, but 259 00:15:15,910 --> 00:15:17,070 that's odd. 260 00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:24,220 That's out of proportion, and wouldn't be right. 261 00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:28,600 The efforts to make these intuitions, into something 262 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,540 more than intuition, into a systematic theory, one of the 263 00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:35,360 efforts is known as social exchange theory. 264 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:40,350 It is an effort to talk about social relationships in terms 265 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:44,520 that borrow from common sense economic terms. 266 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:49,360 Where, one of the goals is to maximize your profits. 267 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,630 There are benefits. 268 00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:53,410 There's the income side. 269 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:57,580 There's the cost side, and your profits are going to be 270 00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:59,880 something like the subtraction of the 271 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,150 costs from the benefits. 272 00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:07,190 Now, costs and benefits in social exchange are not going 273 00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:10,000 to be in strictly monetary terms by any stretch of the 274 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,470 imagination. 275 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:19,410 Benefits in social exchange can be tangible like dinner. 276 00:16:19,410 --> 00:16:27,290 They can be intangible like a compliment of some variety. 277 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:30,270 Oh that's a lovely, yellow t- shirt with some cool 278 00:16:30,270 --> 00:16:31,230 description on it. 279 00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:31,490 Right. 280 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:35,080 I just added to the plus side of his ledger. 281 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,420 Of course, I've also added to the minus side, because I've 282 00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,870 directed attention to him, and now, he's embarrassed. 283 00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:40,840 Everybody's looking at him. 284 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,780 AUDIENCE: You're not getting anything back! 285 00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:43,960 PROFESSOR: I'm not getting anything back. 286 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,380 No reciprocal here, at all. 287 00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:48,660 I just got something back. 288 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:53,950 Well, anyway. 289 00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:55,720 And, they can be internal. 290 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,420 The benefits could be internal, like a feeling of 291 00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:00,060 self-worth. 292 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,680 Some boost in morale, something like that. 293 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,970 All these would be things on the plus side. 294 00:17:04,970 --> 00:17:08,550 And, quite different than just economic transaction. 295 00:17:08,550 --> 00:17:11,140 And, the same on the minus side. 296 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:14,270 You could have a physical minus if someone smacks you, 297 00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:17,450 or something like that. 298 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:24,210 An intangible minus; I won't pick somebody out, because 299 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,870 that would be rude, but did you get enough sleep last 300 00:17:27,870 --> 00:17:29,760 night, or something like that? 301 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,670 It sort of suggests that you don't look so good, and you 302 00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:34,370 think, I did get a lot of sleep last night. 303 00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:36,510 Maybe I just don't look so good. 304 00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:40,090 And, it could be internal. 305 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:42,110 You know, a feeling of diminished self- worth, or 306 00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:42,950 something like that. 307 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:46,620 And then you've got your profits that are the 308 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:49,530 difference between those. 309 00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:53,050 There is a necessary, at least at this stage of any sort of 310 00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:57,560 model development, there is a necessary imprecision here. 311 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:02,490 Dinner minus two insults equals what? 312 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,600 It's clear that at least a decent dinner 313 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,800 is on the plus sign. 314 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,160 The insults on the minus side. 315 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,020 But you can't do the calculation the way you would 316 00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:13,020 do a profit loss statement in economics. 317 00:18:13,020 --> 00:18:17,160 So suffice it to say that in its present state, the model 318 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:21,280 is qualitative, more then quantitative. 319 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,420 But, rather like evolutionary psych, the promise is, or the 320 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:26,700 hope would be, that you could move in a more 321 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:30,140 quantitative direction. 322 00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:35,680 Do people actually do any sort of math of this sort? 323 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,890 Well you can get some intuition about that perhaps 324 00:18:38,890 --> 00:18:43,630 by asking yourself about some sort of a scenario. 325 00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:50,670 Like, you go to the polls today, you're in line, and you 326 00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:58,380 see this guy who you think you saw voting earlier in the day, 327 00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:00,290 when you voted the first time. 328 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,120 So, what do you do? 329 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:10,290 Now, you could challenge him or not challenge him or 330 00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:11,330 something like that. 331 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:14,000 And ask yourself, what would determine that decision? 332 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,190 You'd sort of run down a mental checklist. 333 00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:21,620 If I challenge him I might get it sort of a tangible benefit 334 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,720 of preserving the democratic process in some fashion. 335 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,690 I get an intangible set of compliments from people all 336 00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:34,690 around me about my bold stand for ballot integrity, and I'd 337 00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,550 get this great feeling of self-worth. 338 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:41,610 On the other hand, I might be wrong. 339 00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:44,030 He might punch me. 340 00:19:44,030 --> 00:19:48,350 And, my neighbors in line, might simply derive me for 341 00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:53,510 being a stupid busybody, and it doesn't really matter what 342 00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:54,770 your answer is. 343 00:19:54,770 --> 00:20:01,500 The point is that this sort of cost- benefit analysis has the 344 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:05,840 feeling of the thing that we do, not explicitly, not on a 345 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:10,250 piece of paper with a check list, but the thing that we do 346 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,010 quite automatically. 347 00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:17,160 The notion that you want to maximize your profits is only 348 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:24,570 one of the core tenants of social exchange theory. 349 00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:26,880 You know that because the handout, I think, 350 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,940 lists three of them. 351 00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,150 One of them is to maximize your profits. 352 00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:31,650 Oh, there it is. 353 00:20:31,650 --> 00:20:33,530 It says, "Three Tenants Of Social Change Theory. 354 00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:35,160 Maximize Your Profits." 355 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,960 The second one is the notion that the profits for both 356 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,650 sides in an exchange should be roughly equal. 357 00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:45,550 That's the embodiment of this notion of reciprocity. 358 00:20:45,550 --> 00:20:51,130 We don't like relationships where you maximize your 359 00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:56,560 profits by exploiting the other party to the 360 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,490 relationship. 361 00:20:57,490 --> 00:21:01,730 And the third one, that we haven't talked about yet, is 362 00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:06,570 that for a relationship to last, it's gotta be better 363 00:21:06,570 --> 00:21:08,710 than the perceived alternatives. 364 00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:14,150 The plus or minus of that checklist 365 00:21:14,150 --> 00:21:18,730 is not itself adequate. 366 00:21:18,730 --> 00:21:22,080 If you think about this in boring economic terms. 367 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,730 You've got a pile of money in this account. 368 00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:30,350 It's making 1%, so you're making money. 369 00:21:30,350 --> 00:21:34,180 But, you see that there's this other opportunity over here, 370 00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:36,970 to make 5%. 371 00:21:36,970 --> 00:21:38,320 Well, what are you going to do with your money. 372 00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:42,140 You're going to move it over. 373 00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:42,900 Look at that. 374 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:44,580 Not only did I get a sweatshirt out the 375 00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:47,050 deal, I got a nickel. 376 00:21:47,050 --> 00:21:48,090 And, a cute little pink thing. 377 00:21:48,090 --> 00:21:49,880 He left the coin he flipped. 378 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,130 This is a great day. 379 00:21:55,150 --> 00:22:00,720 So, the same logic applies in social exchange theory to 380 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:01,720 relationships. 381 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:07,490 So you're in a relationship that's getting you a net 382 00:22:07,490 --> 00:22:13,530 profit, with this perfectly nice person. 383 00:22:13,530 --> 00:22:18,370 You see this other person, and you say, I could get 5% on my 384 00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:20,910 relationship over here. 385 00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:21,640 What do you do? 386 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,000 Now we'll come back later in the lecture to the possible 387 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,770 problematical nature of that tenant of 388 00:22:27,770 --> 00:22:29,080 social exchange theory. 389 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,820 But, the important point for now is, it's not just that you 390 00:22:32,820 --> 00:22:35,840 want to be running positive, not negative, you want to be 391 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,270 running as positively as possible, and you're looking 392 00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:42,040 at your alternatives to see how you can do that. 393 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,360 Now, this sounds, particularly by the time we start talking 394 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:49,620 about moving your investment from one person to the next 395 00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:52,030 person, terribly crass. 396 00:22:52,030 --> 00:22:57,010 Is there any evidence that people use is this sort of 397 00:22:57,010 --> 00:23:03,970 quasi- economic calculation in romance? 398 00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:09,070 In making romantic attachments with other people? 399 00:23:09,070 --> 00:23:12,490 There have been a number of experiments that have 400 00:23:12,490 --> 00:23:15,370 endeavored to look for evidence for social exchange 401 00:23:15,370 --> 00:23:21,520 theory principles in the settings of romantic type 402 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:22,460 relationships. 403 00:23:22,460 --> 00:23:25,970 And I want tell you about a few of them. 404 00:23:25,970 --> 00:23:31,440 That's why I've got all these cute little boxes on the 405 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,830 handout that allow you to plot out the results, the 406 00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:37,890 predictions and the results. 407 00:23:37,890 --> 00:23:43,880 So, let me tell you about one of the earlier great efforts. 408 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,980 Down on the handout is the great computer match dance. 409 00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:51,770 Here's the way it works. 410 00:23:51,770 --> 00:23:56,450 In the early days of computers, signs go up on 411 00:23:56,450 --> 00:24:02,170 campus for a big dance but the thing is you're not supposed 412 00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:03,620 to invite anybody. 413 00:24:03,620 --> 00:24:06,380 You're not supposed to take your date to this dance. 414 00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:08,860 What you're going to do, is you're going to come fill out 415 00:24:08,860 --> 00:24:13,320 this big form, collecting buckets of information on you, 416 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:20,810 your GPA, your height, your weight, family income, all 417 00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:21,940 sorts of stuff. 418 00:24:21,940 --> 00:24:24,140 And, the people on the other side of the table, when you're 419 00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:28,000 doing this, are looking at you, and rating your 420 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,150 attractiveness, on a scale from like 1 to 10 or 421 00:24:31,150 --> 00:24:32,410 something like that. 422 00:24:32,410 --> 00:24:36,590 And, then all this goes into a good 1960's style computer, so 423 00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:40,340 it's big computer with lots of lights that flash on it, and 424 00:24:40,340 --> 00:24:43,640 out the other end is going to come out the person you are 425 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,550 matched with to go to the dance. 426 00:24:47,550 --> 00:24:47,960 OK. 427 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,620 Got the basic set up here? 428 00:24:49,620 --> 00:24:54,500 So we've got the male. 429 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:57,540 He can be rated on some scale. 430 00:24:57,540 --> 00:25:00,310 You've got the female. 431 00:25:00,310 --> 00:25:05,270 She can be rated on a similar scale. 432 00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:13,770 And, the story here, is that we've matched you up with the 433 00:25:13,770 --> 00:25:19,770 perfect person for you in some fashion or other. 434 00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:21,430 Actually, I don't think they told you that this was the way 435 00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:22,260 it's going to be done. 436 00:25:22,260 --> 00:25:23,320 It is some complicated algorithm. 437 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,790 The fact is the complicated algorithm was to flip coins. 438 00:25:30,460 --> 00:25:34,900 The pairings were completely random. 439 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:39,660 So, the data on any dimension that you looked for, were 440 00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:46,900 designed that male and female ratings would be uncorrelated. 441 00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:47,420 OK. 442 00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,260 Now you have the dance. 443 00:25:49,260 --> 00:25:53,920 And, the question is, this being the 60's, the issue of 444 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,340 males asking females rather than the other way around, is 445 00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:59,250 a much more straightforward societal norm. 446 00:25:59,250 --> 00:26:02,800 The question they asked was which males asked which 447 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:07,890 females out again for another date? 448 00:26:07,890 --> 00:26:10,790 What's the social exchange prediction here? 449 00:26:14,650 --> 00:26:15,450 That's a hand? 450 00:26:15,450 --> 00:26:22,640 AUDIENCE: [UNINTELLIGIBLE] 451 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:23,890 PROFESSOR: Yes. 452 00:26:30,210 --> 00:26:37,810 People should sort themselves in some fashion to produce 453 00:26:37,810 --> 00:26:41,070 essentially reciprocal balanced relationships. 454 00:26:41,070 --> 00:26:50,660 So, this quadrant is the me not asking her out in high 455 00:26:50,660 --> 00:26:56,800 school neighborhood, and this is the reverse. 456 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:01,350 Her not asking me out hypothetical relationship. 457 00:27:01,350 --> 00:27:03,160 But these are the matched relationships 458 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,290 that ought to work. 459 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:09,080 In fact, this experiment is a bomb. 460 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,890 It doesn't work out the way social 461 00:27:10,890 --> 00:27:13,840 exchange theory predicted. 462 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,640 So, you look at the correlational data for all 463 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,470 sorts of variables, and it turns out that the only 464 00:27:20,470 --> 00:27:26,150 variable that makes any difference is ratings of 465 00:27:26,150 --> 00:27:31,340 female attractiveness, and the data look like this. 466 00:27:38,870 --> 00:27:41,970 Basically females who were rated as more 467 00:27:41,970 --> 00:27:44,260 attractive got asked out. 468 00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:47,080 What's going on here? 469 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,730 So the answer is there's a fatal 470 00:27:50,730 --> 00:27:51,980 methodological flaw here. 471 00:27:54,330 --> 00:27:55,500 There're two possibilities. 472 00:27:55,500 --> 00:27:59,720 One is that social exchange theory is wrong. 473 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,920 But If I thought that were the case, then why would I bother 474 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,310 to lecture about it, at least in this sort of detail. 475 00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:10,210 The other possibility is the experiment had a 476 00:28:10,210 --> 00:28:11,470 methodological flaw. 477 00:28:11,470 --> 00:28:13,190 So what's the problem? 478 00:28:13,190 --> 00:28:16,480 Why didn't this work out? 479 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,220 Oh, Out in the cheap seats, next John Kerry there. 480 00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:24,850 AUDIENCE: People thought that they were well matched. 481 00:28:24,850 --> 00:28:26,100 PROFESSOR: That's good. 482 00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:29,470 Usually I get half a dozen bizarre ideas did before 483 00:28:29,470 --> 00:28:31,470 somebody hits on the right idea. 484 00:28:31,470 --> 00:28:34,270 But good for you, you got the right idea first. 485 00:28:34,270 --> 00:28:36,750 The problem is with the cover story. 486 00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:39,320 It's not people specifically who are the problem. 487 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,000 It's guys. 488 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:49,220 The guys thought, so you gotta imagine a guy here. 489 00:28:49,220 --> 00:28:56,040 So if this is the scale of attractiveness, so here's ugly 490 00:28:56,040 --> 00:29:03,120 guy, ugly guy has thought all along that he was, I've got a 491 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:10,220 warm heart, but I'm ugly, and then see, this high tech 492 00:29:10,220 --> 00:29:13,650 computer, spits out your perfect 493 00:29:13,650 --> 00:29:16,020 match, and she's gorgeous. 494 00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:22,825 It's the economics of romance equivalent to looking into the 495 00:29:22,825 --> 00:29:25,560 wallet and discovering you've got a whole bunch of 20's you 496 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,140 didn't know were there. 497 00:29:28,140 --> 00:29:34,790 And so everybody decided that they were well matched, and 498 00:29:34,790 --> 00:29:42,350 this had it's biggest effect on the guys who had previously 499 00:29:42,350 --> 00:29:44,385 thought that they didn't have that much in the bank, and 500 00:29:44,385 --> 00:29:47,060 they thought well, I guess I can afford this. 501 00:29:47,060 --> 00:29:49,140 They all asked out the-- 502 00:29:49,140 --> 00:29:54,000 what we don't know, by the way, which of these phone 503 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,260 calls actually ended up in a date, and or relationship. 504 00:29:57,260 --> 00:30:01,830 The social change prediction would have to be that only 505 00:30:01,830 --> 00:30:03,790 these would have survived. 506 00:30:03,790 --> 00:30:05,960 But we can come back to that minute. 507 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:11,880 Anyway, the experiment's a bust, because the cover story 508 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,540 gives people the wrong idea. 509 00:30:13,540 --> 00:30:19,850 This makes an interesting point about these valuations. 510 00:30:19,850 --> 00:30:24,210 They're based on your perception in relationship 511 00:30:24,210 --> 00:30:28,080 space, they're based on your perception of the other, and 512 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,780 your perception of yourself. 513 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:42,780 We have met males, for instance, who consider 514 00:30:42,780 --> 00:30:47,400 themselves to be God's gift to women, against the evidence. 515 00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:54,450 If you have a systematic misperception of your own 516 00:30:54,450 --> 00:31:00,500 value, you're going to end up in the non- social exchange 517 00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:03,960 part of this space. 518 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,980 And, then, the question becomes whether or not its a 519 00:31:07,980 --> 00:31:09,480 self- correcting system. 520 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:19,080 If you think that you are a 10 on every scale, and you keep 521 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:23,650 asking people who are by your assessment also 10's on every 522 00:31:23,650 --> 00:31:27,340 scale, and they keep saying no to you, does that eventually 523 00:31:27,340 --> 00:31:31,520 cause you to come up with a more realistic assessment of 524 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:36,110 who you might actually be in this marketplace. 525 00:31:36,110 --> 00:31:37,180 Well. 526 00:31:37,180 --> 00:31:39,150 We haven't got any evidence if this works at all yet. 527 00:31:39,150 --> 00:31:42,130 Let's go find ourselves an experiment that doesn't have 528 00:31:42,130 --> 00:31:44,410 this fatal flaw in it. 529 00:31:44,410 --> 00:31:46,700 Did I give this a clever name of something sort? 530 00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:46,910 No. 531 00:31:46,910 --> 00:31:48,670 It just says, let's try again. 532 00:31:48,670 --> 00:31:55,010 So, here's this Kizler and Barrel experiment, that works 533 00:31:55,010 --> 00:31:57,970 as follows. 534 00:31:57,970 --> 00:32:04,510 You go into a psych lab to do what you think is some sort of 535 00:32:04,510 --> 00:32:06,890 a cognitive experiment. 536 00:32:06,890 --> 00:32:08,680 The task don't matter. 537 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:13,780 You're doing this task, broken into two halves. 538 00:32:13,780 --> 00:32:15,650 You're a guy. 539 00:32:15,650 --> 00:32:21,990 And, at the end of the first half, you're going to take a 540 00:32:21,990 --> 00:32:24,020 break, and you're giving some feedback 541 00:32:24,020 --> 00:32:26,140 about how you're doing. 542 00:32:26,140 --> 00:32:29,230 The feedback is either of the form, wow. 543 00:32:29,230 --> 00:32:30,680 You did really well on that. 544 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,530 Most people don't get scores that are that good. 545 00:32:32,530 --> 00:32:34,670 You're really good at this sort of thing. 546 00:32:34,670 --> 00:32:40,880 So that's a good, self- esteem boosting 547 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,320 kind a bit of feedback. 548 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,700 Or, you're given feedback of the form, did you get enough 549 00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:47,000 sleep last night? 550 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:54,120 Most people get a higher score. 551 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,920 Well, never mind. 552 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:56,420 It's OK. 553 00:32:56,420 --> 00:32:57,670 Let's take a break. 554 00:32:57,670 --> 00:33:04,370 And so you've gotten the bad information. 555 00:33:04,370 --> 00:33:07,450 Now, needless to say, this is a set up. 556 00:33:07,450 --> 00:33:11,570 What information you get is uncorrelated with your score. 557 00:33:11,570 --> 00:33:13,400 So, you may have done brilliantly. 558 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,770 You may have done badly. 559 00:33:14,770 --> 00:33:18,710 You have no idea how people do on this task in general. 560 00:33:18,710 --> 00:33:22,400 And, and the experimenter has flipped a coin and arbitrarily 561 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,390 assigned you to the high self- esteem or low 562 00:33:25,390 --> 00:33:26,770 self- esteem group. 563 00:33:26,770 --> 00:33:29,450 That's the manipulation of the male. 564 00:33:29,450 --> 00:33:30,510 This is the guy. 565 00:33:30,510 --> 00:33:36,520 Now, we're going to go have a snack. 566 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,660 You and the experimenter go off to the 567 00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:45,340 cafeteria to have a snack. 568 00:33:45,340 --> 00:33:53,100 And, you get some food, sit down at the table, and a 569 00:33:53,100 --> 00:33:56,750 female friend of the experimenter comes and says, 570 00:33:56,750 --> 00:33:59,210 Hi, can I sit down with you? 571 00:33:59,210 --> 00:34:01,510 And, the experimenter says Hi, sure. 572 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:09,130 A female person comes in two flavors. 573 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,800 As you might guess from this two by two thing. 574 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,900 There's only one female here, but the manipulation here is 575 00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:20,220 she's either looking good, or she's looking bad. 576 00:34:24,770 --> 00:34:26,750 I don't think, I've ever seen pictures of this, so I don't 577 00:34:26,750 --> 00:34:31,870 quite know how they did this, but the idea is that she's 578 00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:36,370 arranged herself to look attractive, or comparatively 579 00:34:36,370 --> 00:34:38,080 unattractive. 580 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,030 Same person, so you know no personality variables 581 00:34:41,030 --> 00:34:43,170 changing, and a fairly tight script. 582 00:34:43,170 --> 00:34:46,630 And, at this point, the experimenter says, I need to 583 00:34:46,630 --> 00:34:48,610 go rinse a few things out. 584 00:34:48,610 --> 00:34:49,690 I'll be right back. 585 00:34:49,690 --> 00:34:51,750 You two talk. 586 00:34:51,750 --> 00:34:56,600 And, so this woman, also an experimenter is sitting there. 587 00:34:56,600 --> 00:35:02,390 And the data for this experiment are any indications 588 00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:09,390 of romantic interest on the part of the guy. 589 00:35:09,390 --> 00:35:12,450 Does he ask for her phone number would be a sort of a 590 00:35:12,450 --> 00:35:13,670 transparent kind of thing. 591 00:35:13,670 --> 00:35:17,110 But there's a long checklist of things that he might do or 592 00:35:17,110 --> 00:35:19,950 say that would indicate some sort of interest, And, you're 593 00:35:19,950 --> 00:35:27,720 just making little check marks presumably relatively subtly. 594 00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:47,010 The trivial social exchange prediction is he's feeling 595 00:35:47,010 --> 00:35:49,630 good, she's looking good. 596 00:35:49,630 --> 00:35:51,990 It must be love, kind of thing. 597 00:35:51,990 --> 00:35:59,410 And this the cell that gets the highest number of 598 00:35:59,410 --> 00:36:01,410 indications of interest. 599 00:36:01,410 --> 00:36:08,510 The question is where's the second highest set of marks in 600 00:36:08,510 --> 00:36:09,770 this experiment. 601 00:36:09,770 --> 00:36:12,910 And the answer is down here. 602 00:36:12,910 --> 00:36:17,900 She's looking bad, he's feeling bad. 603 00:36:17,900 --> 00:36:21,670 It must be a match. 604 00:36:21,670 --> 00:36:23,920 And, these two lag behind. 605 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,210 I don't know which one is three and which 606 00:36:26,210 --> 00:36:28,560 one is four, actually. 607 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:34,180 But the important point is that there are more 608 00:36:34,180 --> 00:36:40,590 indications of interest here, has would be predicted by a 609 00:36:40,590 --> 00:36:43,960 social exchange theory that's looking for matching. 610 00:36:48,780 --> 00:36:51,620 This is the case where you looked in your wallet and you 611 00:36:51,620 --> 00:36:55,540 discovered that you actually had a couple less twenties 612 00:36:55,540 --> 00:37:00,830 then you though, but you still want to buy something. 613 00:37:00,830 --> 00:37:03,370 And, well I guess. 614 00:37:03,370 --> 00:37:08,310 Doesn't this sound terrible? 615 00:37:08,310 --> 00:37:11,680 It not only sounds terrible, it sounds a little on the 616 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,500 artificial side. 617 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:20,450 Is there any evidence that this happens in a more 618 00:37:20,450 --> 00:37:22,140 realistic setting? 619 00:37:22,140 --> 00:37:29,950 And the effort to figure that out was done with the 620 00:37:29,950 --> 00:37:31,320 realistic setting of large 621 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,640 introductory psychology classes. 622 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,280 So, large intro psych class, I think maybe Minnesota, or Ohio 623 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,380 State someplace where they had a huge intro class. 624 00:37:42,380 --> 00:37:46,830 And, what they did was, they a largely freshman class, they 625 00:37:46,830 --> 00:37:51,910 looked for who formed relationships. 626 00:37:51,910 --> 00:37:55,250 So, let's go just like the computer match dance thing, 627 00:37:55,250 --> 00:37:57,440 but we'll take the relationships first, and work 628 00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:58,610 backwards from that. 629 00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:06,860 So they got like 213 I think, couples, out of intro psych. 630 00:38:06,860 --> 00:38:09,530 And, they did the same business. 631 00:38:09,530 --> 00:38:11,160 Rated them on attractiveness. 632 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:16,250 Rated them on everything under the sun. 633 00:38:16,250 --> 00:38:18,230 SAT scores. 634 00:38:18,230 --> 00:38:20,610 Religion and all sorts of stuff. 635 00:38:20,610 --> 00:38:23,090 And, scatter plot the data. 636 00:38:23,090 --> 00:38:31,170 What you find is that these freshman pairing were not 637 00:38:31,170 --> 00:38:32,070 highly correlated. 638 00:38:32,070 --> 00:38:36,030 They weren't random, like if you randomized in the computer 639 00:38:36,030 --> 00:38:36,730 match thing. 640 00:38:36,730 --> 00:38:45,970 There are factors that did correlate. 641 00:38:45,970 --> 00:38:48,000 But, they weren't particularly striking. 642 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:52,430 But now, let's ask, so we've got some cloud of data points 643 00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:56,520 again, with perhaps some positive correlation to it. 644 00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,760 Let's come back two years later, and ask, 645 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,450 who is still together? 646 00:39:03,450 --> 00:39:06,370 And, what you find, two years later, I don't remember how 647 00:39:06,370 --> 00:39:09,050 many were still together, but of the ones who are still 648 00:39:09,050 --> 00:39:15,610 together, now essentially all of the variables correlated. 649 00:39:15,610 --> 00:39:21,570 So, you could pick anything you liked, SAT scores, 650 00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:27,110 religion, looks, socio-economic status, and now 651 00:39:27,110 --> 00:39:30,500 it's not that it all lay on the line of unit slope, it's 652 00:39:30,500 --> 00:39:33,820 not that somehow you went through State University of 653 00:39:33,820 --> 00:39:36,930 Minnesota or something like that, and you found the one 654 00:39:36,930 --> 00:39:42,380 person who had exactly the same SAT scores as you. 655 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:45,940 And, their parents made exactly the 656 00:39:45,940 --> 00:39:46,820 same amount of money. 657 00:39:46,820 --> 00:39:51,230 And you were exactly the same height. 658 00:39:51,230 --> 00:39:52,180 No. 659 00:39:52,180 --> 00:39:55,660 What you've got is it's still a big cloud of data points, 660 00:39:55,660 --> 00:39:59,030 but now, all the variables are positively correlated. 661 00:40:02,230 --> 00:40:06,150 Well, what's the cliche here? 662 00:40:06,150 --> 00:40:07,400 I'll give you a hint. 663 00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:10,650 Thank you. 664 00:40:10,650 --> 00:40:14,020 Birds of a feather flock together would be the sort of 665 00:40:14,020 --> 00:40:17,650 punch line of this experiment. 666 00:40:17,650 --> 00:40:20,260 There may have been a degree of noise in the initial 667 00:40:20,260 --> 00:40:23,500 assortment, but the relationships that lasted 668 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:31,050 where the relationships where the birds of a feather were 669 00:40:31,050 --> 00:40:31,970 flocking together. 670 00:40:31,970 --> 00:40:36,880 And that hand is going to say, but, Thank you. 671 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:42,680 Next thing on the handouts says the other cliche is 672 00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:43,790 opposites attract. 673 00:40:43,790 --> 00:40:49,690 Now the thing about cliches is that cliches don't get to be 674 00:40:49,690 --> 00:40:52,090 cliches unless there is an element of 675 00:40:52,090 --> 00:40:53,890 truth in there somewhere. 676 00:40:53,890 --> 00:40:58,190 In the element of social exchange theory, truth in 677 00:40:58,190 --> 00:41:02,580 opposites attract is that opposites attract when they 678 00:41:02,580 --> 00:41:05,510 increase each other's profits. 679 00:41:05,510 --> 00:41:09,910 So, this sense in which opposites attract is she 680 00:41:09,910 --> 00:41:12,210 talks, he listens. 681 00:41:12,210 --> 00:41:15,760 From the outside, it may look like, my goodness, he talks 682 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:16,340 all the time. 683 00:41:16,340 --> 00:41:18,940 She talks all the time. 684 00:41:18,940 --> 00:41:21,240 And, she never says a word. 685 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,230 How can they how can they live together? 686 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:25,690 Well, the answer is its great deal easier probably, to live 687 00:41:25,690 --> 00:41:30,070 together that way, then if they both talk all the time. 688 00:41:30,070 --> 00:41:33,730 Those two birds of a feather are going to drive each other 689 00:41:33,730 --> 00:41:35,710 sort of nuts. 690 00:41:35,710 --> 00:41:38,860 And, he's a great cook. 691 00:41:38,860 --> 00:41:40,110 She's a great eater. 692 00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:48,490 Or, at least an appreciative audience or something. 693 00:41:48,490 --> 00:41:51,120 That is the sense in which opposites attract. 694 00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:03,260 You can ask yourself about roommate issues, where there's 695 00:42:03,260 --> 00:42:07,120 a certain amount of random assortment of people. 696 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:11,680 I gather here, you pick your roommate on the basis of 697 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,350 sketchy information when you arrive. 698 00:42:14,350 --> 00:42:18,020 Is that the current scheme? 699 00:42:18,020 --> 00:42:21,950 So, it's a sort of a courtship on the basis of limited 700 00:42:21,950 --> 00:42:23,110 information. 701 00:42:23,110 --> 00:42:26,920 Anyway, when you discover that even though you were 702 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,460 correlated on a bunch of variables, it turns out that 703 00:42:29,460 --> 00:42:31,100 there are few variables that really matter. 704 00:42:31,100 --> 00:42:34,380 Like person A is a slob. 705 00:42:34,380 --> 00:42:36,190 Person B is a neatness freak. 706 00:42:36,190 --> 00:42:39,420 That ain't an opposites attract kind of situation. 707 00:42:39,420 --> 00:42:41,740 There's a couple of head shaking around here, 708 00:42:41,740 --> 00:42:45,290 saying I know that. 709 00:42:45,290 --> 00:42:50,200 Or, in our lab, she wants it to be 80 degrees. 710 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,860 I wanted to be about 50 degrees. 711 00:42:52,860 --> 00:42:54,870 That ain't opposites attract. 712 00:42:54,870 --> 00:42:55,700 But there we have it. 713 00:42:55,700 --> 00:42:59,810 This is also not reciprocal, asymmetrical, relationship, 714 00:42:59,810 --> 00:43:02,300 where I'm the boss, and I get to play with the thermostat 715 00:43:02,300 --> 00:43:06,600 first, unless Kristen gets in first, in which case, it's 716 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:12,330 tropical season in the lab. 717 00:43:12,330 --> 00:43:14,800 Anyway, the problem is she got numbers on her side. 718 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,730 The other people in the lab, seem to like it hot. 719 00:43:16,730 --> 00:43:18,540 I don't understand them. 720 00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:27,030 Anyway opposites attract, in these romantic relationships 721 00:43:27,030 --> 00:43:32,130 when they increase each other's profits. 722 00:43:32,130 --> 00:43:39,830 That's a useful, complication to keep in mind. 723 00:43:39,830 --> 00:43:43,810 It's not just a matter of we all rate each other on all 724 00:43:43,810 --> 00:43:46,310 these scales, and then pick the closest 725 00:43:46,310 --> 00:43:47,940 thing to exactly us. 726 00:43:47,940 --> 00:43:50,550 That's not what's going on. 727 00:43:50,550 --> 00:43:55,340 That's going to end up being one factor, but there's a more 728 00:43:55,340 --> 00:44:00,230 general factor of what you're looking for are relationships 729 00:44:00,230 --> 00:44:03,620 that are profitable and roughly equally profitable for 730 00:44:03,620 --> 00:44:08,420 both sides in the relationship. 731 00:44:18,230 --> 00:44:18,950 Let's see. 732 00:44:18,950 --> 00:44:23,350 I think I couched the next bits as the problem set. 733 00:44:23,350 --> 00:44:26,080 The social exchange problems set. 734 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:31,000 Let's let's turn to that after taking a brief break here. 735 00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,930 Let me say a quick word. 736 00:47:45,930 --> 00:47:48,090 I got a couple of questions about the syllabus. 737 00:47:48,090 --> 00:47:49,820 Let me say quick word about this. 738 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,955 The chapters that are assigned at the moment for instance are 739 00:47:55,955 --> 00:47:58,730 the chapters on social psychology. 740 00:47:58,730 --> 00:48:02,130 Like any topic here, huge area. 741 00:48:02,130 --> 00:48:04,870 I'm taking a love and romance cut through it. 742 00:48:04,870 --> 00:48:08,210 So I think, for instance, you'll find stuff about social 743 00:48:08,210 --> 00:48:13,310 exchange theory in the book, but not particularly 744 00:48:13,310 --> 00:48:15,240 necessarily in this sort of straight 745 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:17,840 love and romance track. 746 00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:25,750 I'm assigning chapters that's are, it'll be less obvious 747 00:48:25,750 --> 00:48:29,040 that the book and I are marching in lock step then it 748 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,260 might have been for the memory chapter, or something. 749 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,920 Somebody pointed out that the sleep and dreams lecture has 750 00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:41,770 associated with that a chapter that seems to be 751 00:48:41,770 --> 00:48:42,830 about mental illness. 752 00:48:42,830 --> 00:48:45,330 Well that's because sleep and dreams going to be connected 753 00:48:45,330 --> 00:48:47,130 with Freudian interpretation of dreams. 754 00:48:47,130 --> 00:48:51,400 It's all part of talking about Freud and psychoanalysis, so 755 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:56,240 that's the most relevant chapter at the moment. 756 00:48:56,240 --> 00:48:58,880 It'll be less true for this half the course then for the 757 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:02,180 first half of course, that there's an absolute clear 758 00:49:02,180 --> 00:49:07,610 match between the set of topics in lecture one day and 759 00:49:07,610 --> 00:49:10,130 the set of topics in the accompanying chapter. 760 00:49:10,130 --> 00:49:12,870 They will talk to each other, but they will not match up 761 00:49:12,870 --> 00:49:17,990 quite as tightly as they might have earlier in the course. 762 00:49:21,220 --> 00:49:25,370 Let's do a few social exchange sort of problems. 763 00:49:25,370 --> 00:49:28,690 One of these is the problem of bad relationships. 764 00:49:28,690 --> 00:49:32,360 One of the mysteries on the face of it is why would 765 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,710 somebody stay in a relationship 766 00:49:35,710 --> 00:49:40,370 that's running a deficit. 767 00:49:40,370 --> 00:49:43,850 Perhaps the clearest example of this is why would a woman 768 00:49:43,850 --> 00:49:46,970 stay in an abusive relationship? 769 00:49:46,970 --> 00:49:51,750 I pick a woman because while there are males who are abused 770 00:49:51,750 --> 00:49:54,990 in heterosexual relations, and other males who are abused in 771 00:49:54,990 --> 00:50:00,310 homosexual relations, the bulk of abused partners in 772 00:50:00,310 --> 00:50:01,710 relationships are women. 773 00:50:01,710 --> 00:50:05,640 But, why would anybody stay in an abusive relationship? 774 00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,070 Why would a woman stay in an abusive relationship? 775 00:50:08,070 --> 00:50:11,380 That's where this third tenant of social exchange 776 00:50:11,380 --> 00:50:13,020 theory comes in. 777 00:50:13,020 --> 00:50:17,270 The social exchange answer to the question is you would stay 778 00:50:17,270 --> 00:50:20,390 in a bad relationship if you couldn't see a better 779 00:50:20,390 --> 00:50:22,630 alternative. 780 00:50:22,630 --> 00:50:25,730 And, so, if you imagine a hypothetical situation of 781 00:50:25,730 --> 00:50:29,060 somebody in an abusive relationship, maybe she's got 782 00:50:29,060 --> 00:50:33,350 a couple of kids, and while she was raising these kids, 783 00:50:33,350 --> 00:50:35,280 she's not working. 784 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,030 So, what's she going to do? 785 00:50:37,030 --> 00:50:40,010 You know, if she leaves, what's she going 786 00:50:40,010 --> 00:50:41,310 to do with the kids? 787 00:50:41,310 --> 00:50:42,500 How's she going to feed herself. 788 00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:44,810 Et cetera. 789 00:50:44,810 --> 00:50:49,870 Part of the logic of things like shelters for abused women 790 00:50:49,870 --> 00:50:56,380 is a logic of giving an alternative that looks better 791 00:50:56,380 --> 00:50:57,830 then the state you're in now. 792 00:50:57,830 --> 00:51:03,280 There's nobody saying that living in a shelter for abused 793 00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:06,190 women is a relationship that's running a great 794 00:51:06,190 --> 00:51:07,690 big positive score. 795 00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:11,320 But if it's running less of a negative then the relationship 796 00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:18,800 that you in, you might get out of the abusive relationship. 797 00:51:21,330 --> 00:51:25,720 That's part of what drives this notion that it's 798 00:51:25,720 --> 00:51:30,700 important, not just what the sign of your profit- loss 799 00:51:30,700 --> 00:51:35,140 statement is, but what the alternatives that you 800 00:51:35,140 --> 00:51:36,080 perceive are now. 801 00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:41,450 And the you perceive part is important here too, because we 802 00:51:41,450 --> 00:51:45,360 all know people who are in relationships where you from 803 00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:48,490 the outside look at this relationship and you think you 804 00:51:48,490 --> 00:51:51,610 know that's not a good relationship. 805 00:51:51,610 --> 00:51:52,410 Why is he in that? 806 00:51:52,410 --> 00:51:54,110 Why is she in that? 807 00:51:54,110 --> 00:52:00,520 But, if they see it as the best current possibility, that 808 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:05,380 in social exchange theory, will be relatively stable. 809 00:52:05,380 --> 00:52:08,020 Now, these next two are sort of related to each other. 810 00:52:08,020 --> 00:52:13,490 Who has power in a relationship, and who works 811 00:52:13,490 --> 00:52:15,710 harder in a relationship. 812 00:52:15,710 --> 00:52:18,050 In a sense, they are sort of reciprocal of each other. 813 00:52:18,050 --> 00:52:18,880 Who works harder? 814 00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,400 The person with less power. 815 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,710 Let's do this through a cartoon. 816 00:52:27,690 --> 00:52:33,060 It's another sort of cliched relationship out there. 817 00:52:33,060 --> 00:52:37,260 Young, beautiful woman. 818 00:52:37,260 --> 00:52:41,710 And old, less- than- beautiful guy. 819 00:52:41,710 --> 00:52:47,580 What's the other part of the description of the guy. 820 00:52:47,580 --> 00:52:48,750 Rich. 821 00:52:48,750 --> 00:52:50,000 Why? 822 00:52:53,150 --> 00:52:56,820 We need a hand here. 823 00:52:56,820 --> 00:52:58,210 Nobody's got a clue. 824 00:53:01,850 --> 00:53:05,222 AUDIENCE: That gives him a way in which he doesn't have to 825 00:53:05,222 --> 00:53:07,150 work all the time -- 826 00:53:07,150 --> 00:53:12,220 PROFESSOR: Well this perception that she's bringing 827 00:53:12,220 --> 00:53:16,030 more to the relationship than he is, right? 828 00:53:16,030 --> 00:53:17,530 She, in a sense, has power. 829 00:53:17,530 --> 00:53:21,730 If she looks around and what are my alternatives? 830 00:53:21,730 --> 00:53:25,180 Here I am. 831 00:53:25,180 --> 00:53:27,370 Beautiful. 832 00:53:27,370 --> 00:53:30,060 I'm hanging out here. 833 00:53:30,060 --> 00:53:32,790 Gee, I ought to be able, if I look at my 834 00:53:32,790 --> 00:53:36,740 alternatives, to move here. 835 00:53:36,740 --> 00:53:41,610 So I have a certain power to move if I'm this young 836 00:53:41,610 --> 00:53:44,290 beautiful female person, hypothetically. 837 00:53:44,290 --> 00:53:49,070 And, what he's got to do, the reason he's gotta work hard is 838 00:53:49,070 --> 00:53:51,040 to prevent that movement. 839 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,350 Well, how do you prevent that movement? 840 00:53:53,350 --> 00:53:57,690 One way to do it is to increase -- 841 00:53:57,690 --> 00:53:59,330 well actually, I suppose not to prevent that movement -- 842 00:53:59,330 --> 00:54:02,220 it's to make that movement within the relationship that 843 00:54:02,220 --> 00:54:04,730 you're in now. 844 00:54:04,730 --> 00:54:10,750 If she's a 10, and he's a 1 or 2 or something, he's gotta 845 00:54:10,750 --> 00:54:12,190 make himself into a 10. 846 00:54:12,190 --> 00:54:13,700 How's he make himself into a ten? 847 00:54:13,700 --> 00:54:15,150 He can't make himself young, he can't 848 00:54:15,150 --> 00:54:16,290 make himself beautiful. 849 00:54:16,290 --> 00:54:20,360 What he's gotta do is in the cliche version, shower her 850 00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:24,330 with diamonds and furs, or something like that, 851 00:54:24,330 --> 00:54:28,590 increasing the benefits that she's getting in this 852 00:54:28,590 --> 00:54:32,210 relationship, so that other relationships don't look more 853 00:54:32,210 --> 00:54:33,320 attractive. 854 00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:38,230 So, the basic notion is that if you're bringing less 855 00:54:38,230 --> 00:54:43,140 apparent stuff to the relationship, your partner is 856 00:54:43,140 --> 00:54:46,380 sitting there saying, I could do better, at least 857 00:54:46,380 --> 00:54:47,190 hypothetically. 858 00:54:47,190 --> 00:54:49,810 And you're sitting there saying, if I don't want him or 859 00:54:49,810 --> 00:54:54,640 her to go elsewhere, I've gotta to be more loving, or 860 00:54:54,640 --> 00:55:00,000 I've gotta cook better, or I've gotta do something here. 861 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:04,330 So I'm the one who's got to work hard. 862 00:55:04,330 --> 00:55:10,360 And, the other is the one with the power there. 863 00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:18,120 Now, are romantic relationships really just this 864 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:21,030 crass economic kind of thing? 865 00:55:21,030 --> 00:55:22,360 Sounds pretty grim. 866 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:28,310 Well, there are important differences between economic 867 00:55:28,310 --> 00:55:30,230 exchange and social exchange. 868 00:55:30,230 --> 00:55:33,100 One of them we've already pointed to, which is the fact 869 00:55:33,100 --> 00:55:37,030 that the economic costs and benefits are typically much 870 00:55:37,030 --> 00:55:42,060 more calculate-able than the social ones. 871 00:55:42,060 --> 00:55:46,440 That's the dinner minus two insults problem. 872 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:52,260 The other one that I point out here, is that the rules of 873 00:55:52,260 --> 00:55:55,300 negotiation, what's permissible as negotiation in 874 00:55:55,300 --> 00:56:03,160 economic exchange, is considered desperately gauche, 875 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:09,200 not done in social relations. 876 00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:14,990 You just wouldn't have a conversation that says you can 877 00:56:14,990 --> 00:56:20,030 come up to my at room later if you take me to dinner. 878 00:56:20,030 --> 00:56:20,550 OK. 879 00:56:20,550 --> 00:56:22,480 What kind to dinner do you want? 880 00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:26,230 Well, you gotta take me to a four star restaurant. 881 00:56:26,230 --> 00:56:26,990 No way. 882 00:56:26,990 --> 00:56:29,820 We'll go to Burger King. 883 00:56:29,820 --> 00:56:31,270 No. 884 00:56:31,270 --> 00:56:34,650 How about three stars, three stars. 885 00:56:34,650 --> 00:56:36,930 All right, how about the two star Thai 886 00:56:36,930 --> 00:56:38,170 place down the street? 887 00:56:38,170 --> 00:56:38,560 Oh. 888 00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:39,360 OK. 889 00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,200 It's a deal but you can only come up for 20 minutes. 890 00:56:45,790 --> 00:56:58,500 That sort of haggling in strictly economic terms is not 891 00:56:58,500 --> 00:57:03,600 considered mainstream romance mostly. 892 00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:09,190 It's also not really mainstream US economics 893 00:57:09,190 --> 00:57:10,960 haggling these days, either. 894 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:15,510 If you go to Target and want to argue about the price of a 895 00:57:15,510 --> 00:57:17,340 toaster oven or something, they're not actually going to 896 00:57:17,340 --> 00:57:19,850 be that interested. 897 00:57:19,850 --> 00:57:25,290 But, in those places in the economic sphere, where 898 00:57:25,290 --> 00:57:34,960 haggling is still permissible, a talented haggler, a talented 899 00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:40,150 negotiator will work hard to be your friend. 900 00:57:40,150 --> 00:57:41,440 Why? 901 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:44,890 Because the clearest example that I know of in American 902 00:57:44,890 --> 00:57:47,050 economic life is car dealerships. 903 00:57:47,050 --> 00:57:48,190 Go to a car dealership. 904 00:57:48,190 --> 00:57:49,870 You will do this one of these days. 905 00:57:49,870 --> 00:57:51,190 Go to a car dealership. 906 00:57:51,190 --> 00:57:54,630 The guy who comes out -- typically a guy-- who comes 907 00:57:54,630 --> 00:57:59,240 out to sell you a car is going to be your best buddy almost 908 00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:00,490 instantaneously. 909 00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:03,990 Very nice, friendly guy. 910 00:58:03,990 --> 00:58:04,550 Why? 911 00:58:04,550 --> 00:58:06,270 Well, maybe he's a very nice, friendly guy. 912 00:58:06,270 --> 00:58:08,270 We shouldn't disparaged that possibility. 913 00:58:08,270 --> 00:58:13,710 But, the other reason is, that if you behave to him as though 914 00:58:13,710 --> 00:58:18,870 you are in a social exchange, while he knows perfectly well, 915 00:58:18,870 --> 00:58:22,080 that what you are doing is an economic exchange, he's going 916 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,260 to make money. 917 00:58:23,260 --> 00:58:25,050 Because you are disabled. 918 00:58:25,050 --> 00:58:28,790 You cannot argue with your friend about money in the way 919 00:58:28,790 --> 00:58:31,690 you can argue with somebody in a strictly 920 00:58:31,690 --> 00:58:36,210 economic market place. 921 00:58:36,210 --> 00:58:39,440 So he's going to be your friend. 922 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:43,320 You're going to come to a nice friendly agreement, and then, 923 00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:47,340 it turns out that after you have made this deal, that's 924 00:58:47,340 --> 00:58:48,030 not enough. 925 00:58:48,030 --> 00:58:50,550 You shake hands on that, that's not quite enough 926 00:58:50,550 --> 00:58:53,950 because then he's gotta go talk to his manager about it. 927 00:58:53,950 --> 00:58:57,860 He's such a good friend of yours, that he may have gone a 928 00:58:57,860 --> 00:59:00,330 little too far, he worried. 929 00:59:00,330 --> 00:59:02,220 So, he's gotta go talk to the manager. 930 00:59:02,220 --> 00:59:05,880 And the manager is not your friend. 931 00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:07,860 So, he's gotta go and talk to the -- 932 00:59:07,860 --> 00:59:10,100 but he's your friend, so he'll go and fight it out 933 00:59:10,100 --> 00:59:11,390 with the manager -- 934 00:59:11,390 --> 00:59:14,590 you're never invited to this discussion, by the way. 935 00:59:14,590 --> 00:59:19,340 He goes back to talk to the bad manager. 936 00:59:19,340 --> 00:59:21,800 And I think what they actually do is, they chortle a little 937 00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:26,560 bit about their kids, and the Red Sox, and stuff like that. 938 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:31,060 And then your friend comes back, with a sad face, and 939 00:59:31,060 --> 00:59:34,980 says, my mean, nasty, evil manager, not quite those 940 00:59:34,980 --> 00:59:36,760 terms, won't go for it. 941 00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:40,550 We can't just can't do this. 942 00:59:40,550 --> 00:59:45,790 You and I, we could do this, with just an extra say, $500 943 00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:47,990 of your money. 944 00:59:47,990 --> 00:59:55,240 And, because we're friends, you put up the $500. 945 00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:58,440 I think, but, I don't know this, but I think, the car 946 00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:01,950 dealers are explicitly -- they know about social psychology. 947 01:00:01,950 --> 01:00:08,040 They are instructed that this is a useful way to negotiate. 948 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:12,680 By being your friend, by moving the discussion from an 949 01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:16,150 economic exchange to a social exchange, because of the 950 01:00:16,150 --> 01:00:20,230 differences in those sorts of interactions, that can be 951 01:00:20,230 --> 01:00:26,600 exploited in a way that makes money the for the car dealer. 952 01:00:29,130 --> 01:00:33,150 The most beautiful example of this, in my own personal 953 01:00:33,150 --> 01:00:37,000 experience, was not at a car dealership, but was in the 954 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:41,970 city of Marrakesh in Morocco where everything is 955 01:00:41,970 --> 01:00:43,740 negotiable. 956 01:00:43,740 --> 01:00:47,090 A cup of water; the price is negotiable. 957 01:00:47,090 --> 01:00:48,990 But anyway, a lot of haggling there. 958 01:00:48,990 --> 01:00:53,870 And, so I was there for a conference, and we were taken 959 01:00:53,870 --> 01:00:56,570 off as a group, for a tour of the old 960 01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:58,020 market, which is great. 961 01:00:58,020 --> 01:00:59,310 You should all go there sometime. 962 01:00:59,310 --> 01:01:02,400 We went to a rug merchant. 963 01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,140 This was early in my career. 964 01:01:04,140 --> 01:01:06,230 I didn't have no money. 965 01:01:06,230 --> 01:01:07,740 So, I'm not buying any rugs. 966 01:01:07,740 --> 01:01:12,180 Because to buy rugs, it's good to have money. 967 01:01:12,180 --> 01:01:15,770 So, I'm sitting there drinking buckets of mint tea, which is 968 01:01:15,770 --> 01:01:18,730 what you get in Morocco while other people are 969 01:01:18,730 --> 01:01:19,740 negotiating for rugs. 970 01:01:19,740 --> 01:01:20,650 It's kind of fun to watch. 971 01:01:20,650 --> 01:01:24,370 But at some point, some guy decides he's going 972 01:01:24,370 --> 01:01:26,280 to sell me a rug. 973 01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:31,600 And, he's going to show me the special rugs out back. 974 01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:34,980 So, we're going out back, we're up the back stairs, and 975 01:01:34,980 --> 01:01:39,530 he asked me, are you Jewish? 976 01:01:39,530 --> 01:01:41,730 My mother brought me up to be honest. 977 01:01:41,730 --> 01:01:43,060 Yes, I'm Jewish. 978 01:01:43,060 --> 01:01:45,900 The next thing you know, we're hugging and kissing, because 979 01:01:45,900 --> 01:01:47,640 he's Jewish too. 980 01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:49,870 Last week, I think he was a Methodist. 981 01:01:49,870 --> 01:01:57,150 But, in any case, so now we're friends, of course. 982 01:01:57,150 --> 01:01:59,760 Not friends, I mean, we're practically blood relations. 983 01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:05,560 He shows me only rugs woven by Jewish virgins. 984 01:02:08,580 --> 01:02:10,080 How do you know this is the case? 985 01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,440 Well, they've got this six pointed star on them, as he 986 01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:13,050 points out. 987 01:02:13,050 --> 01:02:15,440 Well, it turns out that every rug in Morocco seems to have 988 01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:16,530 six pointed stars on it. 989 01:02:16,530 --> 01:02:17,660 But never mind. 990 01:02:17,660 --> 01:02:20,860 Plus, the guy has also taking his intro psych class, and he 991 01:02:20,860 --> 01:02:23,540 knows about forced choice psycho physics, rather than 992 01:02:23,540 --> 01:02:26,670 saying do you like this rug, what he's doing is holding up 993 01:02:26,670 --> 01:02:30,340 two rugs, and saying which one do you like better? 994 01:02:30,340 --> 01:02:32,410 So, you gotta give an answer, right? 995 01:02:32,410 --> 01:02:33,170 I like that one better. 996 01:02:33,170 --> 01:02:33,530 OK. 997 01:02:33,530 --> 01:02:34,500 Goes in the stack. 998 01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:37,510 By the time we're playing this game a little while, not only 999 01:02:37,510 --> 01:02:40,190 does he have the theory that I'm buying a rug, I'm buying a 1000 01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:42,120 stack of rugs. 1001 01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:44,620 But I still don't have any money. 1002 01:02:44,620 --> 01:02:47,790 And, so I remember what it said in guide book. 1003 01:02:47,790 --> 01:02:53,590 In the guide book, it said go to the state store, because at 1004 01:02:53,590 --> 01:02:56,960 the state store, they only mark up, by fifty percent. 1005 01:02:56,960 --> 01:03:00,010 And, so you the price you're looking for is to negotiate 1006 01:03:00,010 --> 01:03:02,310 down by about fifty percent, and then 1007 01:03:02,310 --> 01:03:04,200 everybody will be happy. 1008 01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:07,590 So, I remember this, and we're in the state rug store, I know 1009 01:03:07,590 --> 01:03:08,520 what I'm going to do. 1010 01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:12,020 I'll offer this guy 10% of his asking price. 1011 01:03:12,020 --> 01:03:15,810 He'll be so offended, that he throws me out. 1012 01:03:15,810 --> 01:03:16,340 All right. 1013 01:03:16,340 --> 01:03:17,690 So I offer him 10%. 1014 01:03:17,690 --> 01:03:20,910 And, he accepts. 1015 01:03:20,910 --> 01:03:26,240 Now, you want to violate both the borders of social and 1016 01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:32,000 economic exchange, backing off your own offer, is really, 1017 01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:32,950 really rude. 1018 01:03:32,950 --> 01:03:34,870 And, at that point, he threw me out. 1019 01:03:34,870 --> 01:03:35,480 Which is too bad. 1020 01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:37,560 I probably should just maxed out the credit card. 1021 01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:38,800 I think I probably had a pretty good 1022 01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:39,760 deal at that point. 1023 01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:44,250 But, in any case, it was another beautiful example of 1024 01:03:44,250 --> 01:03:49,970 trying to use the rules of social exchange, not to 1025 01:03:49,970 --> 01:03:53,970 mention half a dozen other bits of applied psychology, to 1026 01:03:53,970 --> 01:03:57,270 close and economic deal. 1027 01:03:57,270 --> 01:03:59,820 I think all my friends who came back saying I got him 1028 01:03:59,820 --> 01:04:03,620 down to only 50% of the price probably made a bunch of 1029 01:04:03,620 --> 01:04:07,140 people really, really happy. 1030 01:04:07,140 --> 01:04:15,330 The last thing I want to mention here, is one last 1031 01:04:15,330 --> 01:04:17,310 problem in social exchange. 1032 01:04:17,310 --> 01:04:23,380 That's the problem of vastly unequal and inevitably unequal 1033 01:04:23,380 --> 01:04:24,370 relationships. 1034 01:04:24,370 --> 01:04:27,910 There are relationships out there that are simply not 1035 01:04:27,910 --> 01:04:30,500 going to be reciprocal. 1036 01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:36,670 One of the clear examples, are parent- child relationships. 1037 01:04:36,670 --> 01:04:39,700 Like even if you're thinking strict economic terms, how 1038 01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:43,520 much money have your parents put into you? 1039 01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:48,230 How much money have you put into your parents? 1040 01:04:48,230 --> 01:04:50,550 And it doesn't get any better by the time you're my age. 1041 01:04:54,390 --> 01:05:00,100 It's inevitably a relationship that is going to be unequal, 1042 01:05:00,100 --> 01:05:03,900 and that produces, as you may have noticed at various stages 1043 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:07,930 in your life, a sense of discomfort about that 1044 01:05:07,930 --> 01:05:09,650 inequality. 1045 01:05:09,650 --> 01:05:10,920 How do you deal with it? 1046 01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:12,960 There are lots of ways to deal with it. 1047 01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:15,940 And social exchange theory is not capable of predicting 1048 01:05:15,940 --> 01:05:18,530 which one to chose at this point. 1049 01:05:18,530 --> 01:05:23,130 But you know, for example, a very typical early adolescence 1050 01:05:23,130 --> 01:05:27,130 one is the assertion to one's parents, you've never did 1051 01:05:27,130 --> 01:05:29,280 nothing for me. 1052 01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:38,730 No rational 13 year old in the bits of some fight, you never 1053 01:05:38,730 --> 01:05:39,600 did nothing for me. 1054 01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:40,300 OK. 1055 01:05:40,300 --> 01:05:43,170 Where did the food come from? 1056 01:05:43,170 --> 01:05:45,630 Well, yeah, you did that, but. 1057 01:05:45,630 --> 01:05:48,370 It's not a logical statement, but it's a statement that 1058 01:05:48,370 --> 01:05:51,120 attempts to balance the accounts in some fashion. 1059 01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:53,620 It's a way of dealing with this feeling that the 1060 01:05:53,620 --> 01:05:58,740 relationship is unequal. 1061 01:05:58,740 --> 01:06:05,030 There are the parental -- 1062 01:06:05,030 --> 01:06:07,890 how many how many of you have heard, at some point, the line 1063 01:06:07,890 --> 01:06:11,320 from your parents that one day, you should have 1064 01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:13,380 a child like you? 1065 01:06:13,380 --> 01:06:18,320 Or words to that effect? 1066 01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:22,080 That's another sense in which this can be balanced. 1067 01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:27,090 The parental notion that the accounts will be balanced when 1068 01:06:27,090 --> 01:06:32,010 your children do unto you as you have done. 1069 01:06:32,010 --> 01:06:33,470 And, guess what? 1070 01:06:33,470 --> 01:06:35,860 Your parents are right. 1071 01:06:35,860 --> 01:06:41,840 And, can you remember thinking, at some point, that 1072 01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:43,290 you're never-- 1073 01:06:43,290 --> 01:06:45,810 should you ever have children, --you're never going to say 1074 01:06:45,810 --> 01:06:49,540 anything as stupid, to your own children. 1075 01:06:49,540 --> 01:06:53,250 Oh one perfectly lovely concrete example, why do I 1076 01:06:53,250 --> 01:06:55,110 have to do this? 1077 01:06:55,110 --> 01:06:59,880 The parental answer to which is, because I said so. 1078 01:06:59,880 --> 01:07:03,180 Have you heard the little voice in your head promising 1079 01:07:03,180 --> 01:07:05,190 that you will never say anything that 1080 01:07:05,190 --> 01:07:07,980 lame to your own kids. 1081 01:07:07,980 --> 01:07:10,920 Guess what? 1082 01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:14,150 It's very grim. 1083 01:07:14,150 --> 01:07:16,750 And, you can just sit there listening to yourself as you 1084 01:07:16,750 --> 01:07:19,490 say it, and say, oh god, I said I'd never do that. 1085 01:07:19,490 --> 01:07:22,760 All right. 1086 01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:26,080 Beyond that realm, what do you do about these unequal 1087 01:07:26,080 --> 01:07:27,120 relationships? 1088 01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:29,640 Last thought, there's an interesting thought that comes 1089 01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:33,260 out of Roger Brown's book, Social Psychology, a 1090 01:07:33,260 --> 01:07:37,190 beautifully written textbook on social psychology. 1091 01:07:37,190 --> 01:07:41,050 He talks about the central exchanged in social exchange. 1092 01:07:41,050 --> 01:07:47,180 The argument is that not all of the interactions needs to 1093 01:07:47,180 --> 01:07:52,780 be between you and the person with whom you were having a 1094 01:07:52,780 --> 01:07:55,080 relationship at this particular moment. 1095 01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:58,640 There can be a bank. 1096 01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:01,020 Here's the experimental evidence. 1097 01:08:01,020 --> 01:08:03,110 A bit of experimental evidence; last little two by 1098 01:08:03,110 --> 01:08:04,480 two on there. 1099 01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:07,840 And, in my new free nickel will do just fine. 1100 01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:11,420 It's becoming at slightly archaic example, because most 1101 01:08:11,420 --> 01:08:14,720 people don't use phone booths anymore, but, you still know 1102 01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:16,330 what a phone booth is, right? 1103 01:08:16,330 --> 01:08:20,540 You go into a phone booth, the first thing you do, before 1104 01:08:20,540 --> 01:08:25,190 dialing the number or anything is to check what? 1105 01:08:25,190 --> 01:08:27,440 Not if you have a quarter. 1106 01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:29,650 Is there a quarter in the change slot. 1107 01:08:29,650 --> 01:08:30,080 Right? 1108 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:33,630 Everybody goes and check that little change slot. 1109 01:08:33,630 --> 01:08:37,450 And, oh, I just changed her life. 1110 01:08:37,450 --> 01:08:38,250 Check next time. 1111 01:08:38,250 --> 01:08:39,430 Sometimes there's a quarter there. 1112 01:08:39,430 --> 01:08:40,460 It's really good. 1113 01:08:40,460 --> 01:08:45,890 Anyway, we can use this two by two here. 1114 01:08:45,890 --> 01:08:54,280 What this experiment did was to spike phone booths. 1115 01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,630 They put quarters in the phone booth. 1116 01:08:56,630 --> 01:08:59,680 And, so you go into the phone booth, and some 1117 01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:03,700 people got a coin. 1118 01:09:03,700 --> 01:09:09,000 And some people didn't get a coin. 1119 01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:12,610 This is not a big change in your life, but it is an 1120 01:09:12,610 --> 01:09:14,420 unreciprecated good. 1121 01:09:14,420 --> 01:09:18,820 You're getting this good, but you can't say, I gotta go do 1122 01:09:18,820 --> 01:09:21,400 something to the guy who gave me a quarter. 1123 01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:21,900 Can't work. 1124 01:09:21,900 --> 01:09:24,140 So, here's what happens next. 1125 01:09:24,140 --> 01:09:25,590 You come out of the phone booth, having 1126 01:09:25,590 --> 01:09:27,080 made your phone call. 1127 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:31,190 And, as you're walking out a woman comes by and she trips. 1128 01:09:31,190 --> 01:09:33,610 And her stuff goes all over the place. 1129 01:09:33,610 --> 01:09:35,440 The question is do help her? 1130 01:09:38,610 --> 01:09:44,500 And, the data are, from this particular experiment, so it's 1131 01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:51,390 help and no help. 1132 01:09:51,390 --> 01:09:54,140 Of the people who got a coin in this 1133 01:09:54,140 --> 01:09:57,950 particular study, 14 helped. 1134 01:09:57,950 --> 01:09:58,800 1 didn't. 1135 01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:05,250 Of the people who didn't get a coin, so this is the bulk of 1136 01:10:05,250 --> 01:10:09,820 the population as a whole, 2 people helped. 1137 01:10:09,820 --> 01:10:13,710 And 24 didn't. 1138 01:10:13,710 --> 01:10:17,290 So, now that's very interesting. 1139 01:10:17,290 --> 01:10:24,330 That suggests that just getting that coin produced 1140 01:10:24,330 --> 01:10:29,740 what Brown would see as a an effort to reciprocate to the 1141 01:10:29,740 --> 01:10:32,140 world more generally. 1142 01:10:32,140 --> 01:10:35,130 Now, that's a big effect. 1143 01:10:35,130 --> 01:10:41,960 Does this mean that we could make the world a better place 1144 01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:44,890 by mailing everybody a quarter? 1145 01:10:44,890 --> 01:10:46,180 Doesn't sound right. 1146 01:10:46,180 --> 01:10:48,750 Now the experimental evidence that it's not right comes from 1147 01:10:48,750 --> 01:10:50,620 another version of this experiment. 1148 01:10:50,620 --> 01:10:51,750 You're at home. 1149 01:10:51,750 --> 01:10:56,900 Somebody rings the doorbell and says, I'm new in town, I'm 1150 01:10:56,900 --> 01:10:58,560 setting up a new company. 1151 01:10:58,560 --> 01:11:00,410 We're going to sell paper. 1152 01:11:00,410 --> 01:11:04,780 I wanted you to have this stationary. 1153 01:11:04,780 --> 01:11:05,850 Nice stationary. 1154 01:11:05,850 --> 01:11:06,550 Thanks. 1155 01:11:06,550 --> 01:11:07,930 Bye. 1156 01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:11,140 Shortly thereafter, you get a phone call. 1157 01:11:11,140 --> 01:11:16,240 Somebody on the phone says, is so and so there? 1158 01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:17,440 No, you got the wrong number. 1159 01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:18,290 Oh no! 1160 01:11:18,290 --> 01:11:21,120 I'm in a phone booth. 1161 01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:22,280 I don't have any more money. 1162 01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:26,620 Could you please call Fred and tell them I'll be 1163 01:11:26,620 --> 01:11:27,500 home late or something. 1164 01:11:27,500 --> 01:11:29,310 I don't remember what the exact story is, but it's a 1165 01:11:29,310 --> 01:11:32,500 request to do a favor. 1166 01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:38,070 If you just got the phone call, no paper involved, only 1167 01:11:38,070 --> 01:11:42,700 12% of people were willing to do this favor. 1168 01:11:42,700 --> 01:11:46,530 If you got the paper, and you got a phone call five minutes 1169 01:11:46,530 --> 01:11:51,860 later, 80% of people complied. 1170 01:11:51,860 --> 01:11:56,850 But, if you've got the paper, and, were called 20 minutes 1171 01:11:56,850 --> 01:12:01,030 later, it dropped back down to 12. 1172 01:12:01,030 --> 01:12:05,370 So, it produced a little bump of good feeling. 1173 01:12:05,370 --> 01:12:08,390 Now, what we don't know, because you can't really do 1174 01:12:08,390 --> 01:12:10,840 the experiment, is whether this means that the central 1175 01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:14,490 exchange idea is trivial, and is a very short lived teeny 1176 01:12:14,490 --> 01:12:18,220 phenomenon, or if you live a life where much bigger good 1177 01:12:18,220 --> 01:12:21,500 things happen to you, or for that matter, bad things. 1178 01:12:21,500 --> 01:12:26,310 Do you end up with an account at the central exchange. 1179 01:12:26,310 --> 01:12:30,110 If life is good in general, do you feel a central exchange 1180 01:12:30,110 --> 01:12:32,120 obligation to be good to others? 1181 01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:36,870 If life is bad, in general, do you feel a need to trip people 1182 01:12:36,870 --> 01:12:39,160 and watch the folders fly?